Parenting Corner: Sharing
Toddlers sharing a puzzle together.
One way that a Montessori classroom is different from other preschool settings is that many of our materials are designed for one child at a time. The intention is to protect the child’s concentration and ability to work independently. If there is a child interested in using a material, they will know that it is “available” when they see it has returned to its spot on the shelf. Of course there are some materials that are able to be worked with collaboratively like working on a puzzle together or doing addition with gold bead material which is done in small groups and is great fun!
In a setting such as the playground where there is no “shelf” for things to be put back on to show it’s available, one might hear children working through these sharing opportunities in a different way. Primary or elementary students might say “Will you let me know when you’re done with that dump truck?” Or, alternatively, will assume it’s available when the child begins playing with a different material or object. We steer away from the idea that “sharing” is giving up a dump truck or mud kitchen pot before a child is done using it. Children do not start out understanding this concept, which can be seen on the toddler playground. Toddler teachers lovingly help children work through these situations by handing toys back when they are taken by other children and explaining “This friend is using this right now, let’s wait until they are done.”
Most parents would agree that they have goals to raise their children to be good and kind humans that are able to share and work well with others. Another important goal for our children is to help them lovingly protect their own space and boundaries. This can be done kindly, and we see it in action everyday at school. You can model this at home too by using the same language we use here at school. “Your brother/sister is using that toy right now, looks like it’s not available yet. Let’s see what else we can find for you to play with.” or “Please don’t take the pen from my hand, I am using it. Let’s find another one for you to use, and we can draw together.”