Parenting Corner: Gentle Parenting & Positive Discipline
Gentle Parenting, a popular parenting philosophy focuses on empathy, understanding, and respect. It is a wonderful way to practice treating your children as full and complex human beings while modeling compassion and unconditional love. What could be better? Many of us as parents are working hard to reverse some of our negative experiences with authority as children, which is completely valid and important. It is important to practice, however, setting boundaries with our children while gentle parenting. So, how do we do this?
If the last facet of gentle parenting focuses on respect, we must remember that that respect should be mutual. By showing our children respect with the way we speak to them and interact with them, we are modeling how we, in turn, want to be treated by them. If your child is yelling or hitting you as the adult, they should be reminded of the better way to express their feelings. This is a learning process and may have to be both addressed in the moment when the behavior is happening as well as teaching better ways to communicate in more neutral moments.
Modeling “making repair” can also be a great tool for you and your children. Perhaps in a moment of overstimulation you reacted to your child in a way that you weren’t proud of. We are human, and unfortunately, trying out gentle parenting can come with unnecessary guilt. Coming back to your child after these moments to apologize and make repair can be so healing to both of you. And with practice, they may begin to do the same.
Toting the line between being gentle while also setting boundaries can be tricky, but it is so necessary. Children take comfort in knowing who is in authority, who they can trust, and knowing what to expect in their daily lives. Many parents enjoy taking cues from gentle parenting along with a philosophy called positive discipline which is a parenting approach that focuses on teaching children social and life skills through encouragement, mutual respect, and problem-solving, rather than punishment or harsh methods. You can read more about both here: